No Ordinary Day
by BruisedSmile
Summary: Oskar reflects on his life and future, on a very significant date.


I'll say straight up that I have only seen the movie, I haven't read the book.

* * *

**No Ordinary Day**

**~o~  
**

March 6th.

The date rolled around his head like a loose marble; knocking off the sides in empty echoes as it bounced around aimlessly, searching for a place to settle but finding none. It was starting to make him a little dizzy, so with great effort, he forced his attention elsewhere.

A fresh covering of snow had just finished falling, coating the fringe of evergreen boughs that encircled them in downy white fur. The full moon blazed over his head, deep in the misty black sky that stretched above the little cabin. Shining brightly amongst the slate clouds, like a searchlight cutting through a railway fog, and casting the wild landscape below in a ghostly hue. Everything was fresh; new. The sharp coldness nipped at his exposed skin in a way that reminded him he was still very much alive. Tilting his head up, he exhaled a slow, deep breath and watched, transfixed, as the dewy cloud billowed into the frigid air like dragon smoke, before sinking into the darkness.

It was a night for stories to be told. This was a time for ageless tales of brave knights and mythical creatures to be whispered amongst children, safely huddled round crackling fires. Dreams of fantastic lands and great adventures, just like the ones he had retreated into on one of the many unremarkable, lonely nights of his youth.

The childhood that felt all too distant sometimes, yet had claimed him down to the marrow of his bones, in ways he was only just beginning to fully grasp_. In and out_. Seconds passed and he counted each one; holding his breath for as long as he could stand to. _Three minutes_. The three minutes that had changed his life forever. That had taken his hand and pulled him away from the death ravaged water and slippery, blood smeared tiles of his old life and taken him on to the greatest adventure yet. Ticking down to his new life; bringing them back together. For better or for worse, he knew he could never leave. He felt his face contort with the effort as the trapped air burned against his lungs, hissing for escape. Finally, his eyes snapped open as he relinquished the dangerous game and another cloud of smoke rushed past his lips into the clean night. His head swam slightly as he leaned forward to rest his chin upon his gloved knuckles.

He still liked the idea of dragons. That childish daydream had made a lasting impression, for some reason. The great, mythical beasts of wings and fire; equally feared and hated - sometimes revered, depending on the story - but always tragically misunderstood. Fierce yet stunningly graceful creatures who roamed the endless skies and guarded hidden treasure, deep in the icy mountains, from the enemies who sought to slay them. A faint smile curved up his pale pink lips as his eyes drifted from star to star, counting the constellations. Maybe it wasn't such a mystery why their appeal had lingered so strongly.

The night was deeply calm, he noted. Peaceful, but not oppressively so. The rich forest blanketed the whole side of this mountain slope, providing ample cover, while the smatterings of small towns and hunting lodges managed to break up the isolation, being both a danger and a necessity, for both of them. They must have stayed in this secluded spot for over five months. His eyebrows lifted an inch as the thought dawned on him. Had it been that long? The single date flashed again through his mind, a taunting reminder of what he couldn't ignore forever. The constant passage of time that marched on indifferently, when it was so easy sometimes to believe they lived in a timeless bubble of their shared existence.

The trees teemed with life all around their small enclosure, the sanctuary they had carved out of nature to shelter and protect them from civilization. Animals rustled over the snowy floor, adding to the dozens of different tracks, while insects crawled over bare branches and frosty leaves; all attempting to hide from their natural predators. The constant balance between life and death. He chuckled softly; a note of wry curiosity murmuring through the low sound. It was a little strange to observe how in tune he was with that dark side of nature now. Sometimes he worried he was becoming too desensitized to death. His eyes lowered to the white crystals that crunched under his heavy boots. It still managed to mess with his head, even now. As his understanding and view of the world had matured and changed, the interlaced practicality of life and death seemed to gain more and more layers of contradiction. Yet his feelings never faltered. No doubt lingered in his heart. He hadn't abandoned his conscience; at least, he liked to believe not. He had only found a peaceful compromise, one that could exist alongside the burning ache in his soul. Sacrifices had been made on both sides.

His attention was drawn once more into the shadowy depths that swallowed the trees in front of him. A silent swoop of wings, a rustle and strangled squeak, and it was over. If he squinted, he could just make out the wingspan of the great bird as it soared up again and crossed against the torchlight of the moon. Another hunter of the forest. He knew there were many who shared this territory with them, but the boy was only interested in one. The most deadly and beautiful of them all.

It was the night they lived in. Where they thrived and danced and laughed, free from the most constant danger of them all. The boy smiled to himself. He had become nocturnal more quickly and easily than either had expected. It felt oddly natural, and he couldn't stop himself yawning now as the dawn broke over the horizon at the end of each night; sharing secret smiles as they prepared to cloister themselves away from the intrusive light. The day brought a different kind of joy, the kind he cherished.

It was the kind of night where legends were born. He had spent most of his childhood dreaming of adventures, of escaping into exciting worlds and living like the brave knights in his storybooks. She had given him all that, and so much more that he couldn't have imagined before. A glimpse of his childish grin spilled across his lips as he weaved through his silent thoughts. He wondered how their legend would be told by generations to come. _Once upon a time, in a far distant land of snow and ice…_ Yet, perhaps the bigger question was how the story would end. His expression sobered and he shuffled further back against the icy wood of the porch pillars. Yes, that was question that was keeping him awake more and more.

His hand tapped against the wooden step beside his leg. Fingers beating out an unconscious rhythm he knew by heart. _Dot. Dot-dash-dot-dot. Dot-dot._ Spelling out the name that was forever thudding inside his chest; the rhythm of his heartbeat.

A breeze stirred just then, sighing through the tall trunks and thick bracken, blowing bright blond hair away from his cool cheeks. Night birds hooted and called to each other in the enveloping darkness; encrypted warnings and unsettled rustles in the blinding black. The animals were never quite at ease around their little concealed cabin. Like they could sense something unnatural dwelled in the heart of their wooded home. Something that carried the aura of death; a creature of two worlds; an immortal child.

Nothing else could see what he did. No-one ever looked below the surface, to the bruised and innocent soul inside. No-one knew her. Sometimes, he wasn't even sure he did. Not all of her. Not yet at least. Centuries of loneliness and blood-soaked survival had built up solid defences to guard what was left of her fragile self, and old habits took time to break. In the long days and fresh nights that filled their world, he would ask his questions softly and she would tell her tales unsentimentally, as she had learnt to see her past and way of life. He could remember when he had rolled over to go to sleep, only to shed silent tears for the trail of tragedy that defined her existence, and which he was powerless to heal. He mourned for the lives lost, stolen by circumstance; but mainly, and always, for the one who was forever caught in the middle.

With a sigh he blinked and refocused his gaze, withdrawing from the past and back into the present. The padded sleeve of his thick jacket crinkled as he pulled it back to check his watch one more time. It was official.

His head thudded audibly as he threw it back against the wet wood, the frown deepening behind his closed eyes. The seconds and minutes ticked on with no marked difference. The chilled wind whispered through the mountainside; the forest slept and lived on; smoky clouds crossed over the moon before continuing on their path. To the rest of the world, it was only another day; one just like yesterday and not unlike tomorrow. But for him, this was no ordinary day. This was March 6th.

Today was the day Oskar turned fifteen.

Three years. Three years was everything, and yet it was nothing. Without opening his eyes he breathed in deeply, filling his lungs with the heady scent of the forest; of fresh snow, ancient trees, damp earth and the creaking, mossy wood of the cabin steps he sat on. He tried to hold it in as long as he could, as if he could draw the natural serenity into his very bones and blood, use it to soothe the growing ache in his head and heart. It was funny how he had grown to detest the date that every child normally associated with glee and treats. What was once a special day. But things had changed; and they continued to change.

All he saw now was another road sign on the inevitable path to adulthood; another stern reminder that things couldn't stay the same. Not for him.

The physical changes he saw in the mirror had come gradually yet still quick enough to take him aback when he glimpsed his reflection unawares. Oskar looked every inch the tall, lean, adolescent teenager he had grown into. His face had lost the roundness of youth and matured into angular and defined features. The soft grace of his striking looks was only accentuated by the sharp twilight blue of his eyes and vibrant glow of his blond hair, that he had kept chopped to shoulder length. To the outside observer, he looked like just another teenage boy. All the labour of their nomadic lifestyle had succeeded in toning his lanky frame with corded muscles and a strong definition that suited his new-found height. Yet Oskar felt ill at ease in his new form. Resentful and unnerved by the current he was caught in. And he could only watch, helpless, as time and age made their mark on his body.

Time was running out. They both knew it, but they continued to shy away from their options. Neither choice was acceptable to the other, so they were caught in an endless circle of avoidance and frustration. Oskar had struggled and warred with his conflicting desires and human instincts in silence, reluctant to voice his thoughts until he was committed in his own resolve, anticipating the secondary battle of resistance he would have to win over. In many ways it was an impossible choice, yet in others it was never easier. Now versus forever. Light versus dark. Their damaged lives weighed against the cost of hundreds of others. Was it just too selfish? Could he submit to that? Would she let him? He was scared sick. There was no use denying that; but he knew what scared him more. The thought of losing her, of walking away from their intimate world where he'd known such joy and completeness, swallowed him whole with numbness. But he knew all too painfully, that she'd never chosen this. That she was forced to live with the burden of being forever trapped in eternal youth, a slave to all-consuming, fevered blood-lust. He'd be walking into this with eyes wide open. Was that unforgivable? Oskar stretched his back along the pillar and sighed.

Humanity versus – love.

The stars shone tauntingly bright, sparkling amongst the glittering coloured light that swirled and stretched across the black expanse, mixing into the dark canvas. Too stunning and magical to have ever been dreamt up by mere mortals, he mused. Still, he wasn't sure if he'd ever believed in heaven. He frowned as he tried to remember. As a boy, the stories of heaven and hell seemed so far detached from the mire of his every day life, that it seemed almost irrelevant. Were they just stories made up to scare and reward people for their actions? Some sense of reason and order imposed over the sometimes despairing darkness of this world? He didn't know. Maybe they'd never know.

Still, he added in a wry thought, he hadn't believed the stories about vampires either. With a small smirk on his lips, he tilted his head up until the endless sky filled his whole vision. How did heaven decide who got admittance anyway? Even from his relatively very short time on earth, Oskar had seen how the path of good and bad twisted and looped, changed directions, forked off and merged together, overlapping and evolving into each other in an ever changing and inter-dependent journey. Never the same, never in a straight line, never simple and rarely without conflict. How could they judge a person solely on their actions? The rules weren't the same for everyone, not everyone had a choice. Oskar felt knots clench in his stomach, sickeningly. Would they reject her? Would they see her just as every other person here did - a demon, a monster, a killer. His hands tightened into fists on his knees, as if preparing to fiercely fight off those who would condemn her to a hell worse than that she was already trapped in. Another thought stuck him, sending a wave of fear through his chest. What if they demanded she should have ended her life on her own? He remembered the sad stories she'd told him of ones who couldn't live with the burden of what they'd become. A cold fist squeezed inside his chest, as he vividly recalled grabbing her shoulders with desperate panic and making her promise him she would never, ever, even _consider _doing that herself. He had still been so young. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel her warm lips touch his forehead and the whispered words in his ear.

His features settled into a thoughtful frown. What if they showed mercy; recognised the unfortunate curse she had been dealt and judged accordingly? Maybe she would be spared. But if he wished it upon himself willingly, he would have no salvation. Would they still be torn apart?

Having succeeded in making himself thoroughly miserable, Oskar tensed and sat up. Scooping his hand along the step beside him, he packed a ball of hard snow between his hands and hurled it into the darkness with as much force as he could. Jerking his arm back, he sent a few more handfuls of snow flying into the night before finally slumping down again, breathing heavily. He relished the consuming peace of physical exertion; loved the way it drove stirring thoughts from his mind and allowed him to bask in the temporary adrenaline and the sting of stretched muscles. His growing and stronger body was good for that, he admitted grudgingly.

No, he didn't know anything about the attitude and laws of heaven, or even if it could exist in the end after all. And it may be a long, long time before he found out. There were few things he _was_ certain of in his young life; little he could really know for sure. Except one. A quiet smile stole over his lips, serenity drifting through his features, smoothing away the lines of doubt and anger like caressing fingers, and coaxing the happiness back into his eyes. He could feel it beating in his blood as it pumped through his veins; overwhelming the source of his life and mortality with something even stronger, and more vital to him than oxygen. Everything he would gladly give to her to stay by her side. Yes, Oskar knew about love.

He wasn't quite sure when it exactly was he had been able to put a name, a title, to the confusing feelings that had managed to claim him, heart and soul. And by then it was too late to even try to save themselves; it was already too closely entwined into every part of him, holding him together and making him whole. It was dark and it was dangerous, yet it was so much purer and brighter than even the dazzling sun he sheltered her from. She was all the warmth and life he would ever need. Maybe he'd known it from the beginning; but being a child hadn't made the pull any less powerful. He was finally starting to fully understand how far deep it went. He had to make a choice soon, if he even had one to start with.

His guardian angel. She had smiled when he'd called her that; tilting her head and shaking her hair over her shoulder, a small giggle passing her lips and singing through the air like soft music. She'd found ironic humour in that comparison, but he'd never been more sincere. He owed her his life, many times over. And he gave it back to her, again and again. It would always be hers.

His best friend. Oskar frowned lightly and shifted on the step, suddenly uncomfortable. She was, she always would be, but their relationship went much deeper, into strange and unfamiliar waters. '_Will you be my girlfriend?_' The soft press of her fingertips as they stole over his bare shoulders, following the curve of his spine; the warmth of her delicate fingers sliding through his as their hands threaded together; the whisper of her lips against his neck as they fell asleep. No fear or apprehension of what they were, only tender intimacy glowing in every shy touch. Only the calming comfort of knowing they belonged somewhere; to someone. At last.

With a low sigh, Oskar hunched over and plunged his wet, gloved fingers into his mess of golden locks, making it even messier. He loved her. That was the gravitational pull around which his world circulated; the heart of everything. He knew that better than anything else; knew he would fall apart without it; knew her love was his reason…and yet, sometimes he wanted so badly to scream and shout into the sky and give in to the building, unbearable, helpless frustration and unfairness that was threatening to destroy it all. She had wanted things to stay the same, that night in his room when she agreed to be his girlfriend, so long ago. He hadn't understood that desire back then; but oh, how he understood now. Every day Oskar found himself waging an internal war, fighting against the differences time was putting between them. He was happy to love her forever, but the changes maturity had wreaked on his body, didn't stop with the physical. He had found his love changing; growing and evolving, in ways that both fascinated and unnerved him. He would crave her closeness, to have her warmth in his arms and feel the touch of her skin against his. When she curled up beside him in the early hours of dawn, her cheek resting on his chest and smiling to herself as she weaved their hands together, he could feel every muscle in his body tense at each movement in hers. Soon he would slowly relax and settle into the embrace, letting his free hand trail up and down the velvet soft skin of her arm, unable to stop himself even after she fell asleep - needing the contact almost more than he could stand. He knew he would always want to be with her, but the intensity of that emotion was starting to frighten him.

His fingers tightened into his hair, gripping at the roots painfully, as if he could shock himself out of it with brute force. Sadly, he knew better. Tears prickled in the back of his eyes. He hated himself for what he couldn't control. She had suffered through too much before; he'd seen it in the numbed horror and pained sadness in her eyes as she relived those certain, wretched memories. He'd felt sick at the idea of ever treating of her like that; had sworn he would never put her in that situation; he was determined to never let anyone hurt her again. He remembered the burning anger that had violently clouded his mind at the thought of those monsters. Was he just as bad? He uttered a low, muffled moan into his chest at the unbearable guilt. He'd made her bleed once before, out of stubborn curiosity. He flinched at the memory of her pale face, stained with the deep red blood that dripped from her eyes and out of her trembling body. Was he doomed to hurt her again?

It wasn't fair. Oskar's body was coiled tensely and shuddered slightly, but he didn't raise his head from his hands. He didn't want this - to want _her_ so much, in ways they could never have. She was forever cursed to be in the body of an innocent, underdeveloped child, while he was left to struggle with the soup of raging hormones that adolescence evoked.

Still he loved her. That was the one truth that was inescapable. It was the one redeeming quality; for he knew honestly that the desire for intimacy had blossomed from the pure but bursting love that filled his chest, and could only ever be for her. It wasn't born of lust or shallow attraction for the youth of her figure, nor from an urge for power or dominance, violent possession or obsessive control. It was for the haunting, sparkling pools of her eyes; the sound of her rare laughter and warmth of her smile; her friendship and love; her strength and vulnerability; her smart and curious nature, and the way she made him feel every day - the happiness they shared, the meaning and salvation they brought to each other. When he was with her, close enough to brush her hand or touch her cheek, he could feel the molten love in his heart thunder and swell so that it threatened to break him.

_I must be gone and live or stay and die._

If only he'd known how those words would define them. But Oskar had always known where his choice would lie.

He hadn't asked her yet. Though he suspected she knew what he was building up the resolve to request, from the stormy darkness that would cloud her eyes whenever he tested the waters. From the way her back stiffened and her expression hardened in conflicted pain. And he was preparing to brace himself for the inevitable battle of wills that was coming. They had to face it soon; and preferably much sooner rather than later. He didn't know if she objected on some strange principle she had adopted solely for him, or she was too fearful of her own control. But he trusted her. And if they made sure she had just…eaten…

He couldn't stop the shiver that wracked through his body, but he quickly forced it away.

An owl screeched in surprise, making him jerk up quickly. There was a heavy flap of wings as it took to the skies to resume hunting and then quiet once more. The air had changed, bringing in a colder breeze from the far north and dropping the temperature even more. He might retreat indoors soon, but he preferred waiting outside and it was a somewhat comforting habit. He liked being able to see her return safely; liked to see the look on her face when she appeared out of the darkness and met his eyes. So he waited.

Barely a minute later there was a light thud as something dropped down from the roof. He didn't look around; it would only be a snow drift sliding off. He was still watching the darkened tree line when a pair of deceptively fragile arms wrapped themselves around his torso from behind in a tight hug. Grinning broadly, he reached up to gently stroke along the pale, bare skin that was freezing to touch but perfectly comfortable for the person it belonged to.

"Not fair - you came from behind," he reproached playfully. He felt her laugh softly into the back of his jacket and nuzzle her face in closer.

She tilted her head slightly so her words weren't muffled by the material. "I wanted to surprise you."

She released her hold and slid round on the step so she could see his face. Oskar's grin turned into a tender smile as he took her in all over again, lingering over every detail. Snowflakes clung like white diamonds to her damp ebony curls; her eyes were bright and shining like the stars over their heads and her soft lips were turned up at the corners as she let her own gaze dance over his features in a similar way. She had never looked more like an angel. Oskar raised his hand and let his thumb graze the edge of her mouth, carefully wiping away the trail of blood that shone boldly against the crystal of her skin.

"Was everything…" He left the quiet question unfinished. It wasn't needed anyway. She nodded solemnly, before breaking eye contact as she shifted to perch next to him on the step. Drawing her knee up to her chest, she stared out into the dense forest, seeing further than he ever could. Despite being dressed in only a blue strap vest and jogging trousers - cinched at the waist with a man's belt, as they were a little too big for her slender form - she didn't even shiver in the minus degree temperature. Oskar knew better than to offer his jacket; it wasn't necessary and would only serve to help him reach hypothermia quicker.

She wriggled her bare toes into the powdered snow as if it was a soft carpet as she spoke, still avoiding his eye. "Sorry I was gone so long; I had to go further than before."

He nodded in understanding, knowing she could see him at the corner of her sight. Today had probably been one of the longest of his life. Despite knowing all too well that she was more than capable of taking care of herself - surviving was what she did - he had never hated the sun more. Every minute it had been in the sky it was keeping them apart, preventing her from returning from the extended trip. She was always careful to spread out her hunting ground to avoid leaving a pattern or trail, though their location played to their benefit. The bodies were rarely discovered in the depths of the forest, and if they were, it was easy to write them off to attacks from the wild animals the area was known for.

His hand found hers with the ease of practice and his heart quickened with familiar happiness as they let their fingers slowly lace together. "I missed you," he mumbled quietly before looking up shyly to meet her gaze. He watched as a beautiful smile spilled across her face for a moment, before she shuffled closer and nestled her head on his shoulder, her eyes slipping shut with a small sigh. Oskar leant his cheek against her cold hair and brought their linked hands onto his lap, where he studied them with tender curiosity. Her hand looked so delicate and small, slender white fingers dwarfed by the dark bulk of his winter gloves. Only her nails, blunt and ragged, stained with rusty dried blood, hinted at the true lethal power contained in her innocent form.

He had to work hard to remember sometimes, so convincing was the deceptive frailty of her young figure. Slender limbs that were unimaginably strong, hands and teeth that was instantly deadly. Every part of her was acutely honed to take down her prey; inhuman grace and instinct that rivalled even the most agile of animal hunters. Yet still, he found he couldn't subdue the over-powering will to want to protect her from those who would do her harm. In moments like these, with her small form resting close against him; her guard so completely down; her warmth and trust wrapped around him, he felt he had the strength to defend her from the world. And he did, in all the ways he could. He had a presence in the human world she could never have; a path open to him that allowed him to ensure her safety through the perils, duplicity and manipulation of the societies they moved through.

Lying in his arms, it was hard to imagine her peaceful face, gentle gestures and soft touch could transform so seamlessly into fatal force and savage claws, capable of dismemberment and precision death within seconds. He had witnessed it for himself often enough; seen her at her most vicious and powerful. Whether born out of survival instincts or to fiercely defend their precious world from those who threatened them, she would cut them down like they were no more substantial than mist. In the hours after, they simply held each other in comforting quiet, soothing the remorse and anger from their trembling bodies. There were no separate entities in his mind, no line between the hunter and the girl; she was all and everything at the same time, and he couldn't love her any other way.

Suddenly he felt her lift her head and turn to look at him, an excited gleam in her eye.

"Oh, I have something for you!"

Before he could even form a curious expression, she had leapt to her feet and slipped inside the cabin door behind them. She emerged a few moments later and rejoined him on the step, a dark brown bundle in her hands. She looked more child-like than ever with her expression glowing with eager anticipation as she placed the heavy bundle on his lap and sat back to watch.

Oskar blinked in slight bewilderment, glancing from her softly knowing smile to the surprise gift under his hands. Slowly, he unfolded the item on his knees and held it up before his eyes, unable to stop himself staring in awe at the stylish garment he had revealed. It was a leather jacket of deep brown, very heavy and expertly made. He'd seen items like this on some of the older teenagers in the cities they had passed through, and he could only guess how expensive it was. He ran his hand over the smooth leather and noticed that the inside was fur-lined, making it perfect for the long cold winter months. Dragging his gaze away and checking that his mouth wasn't hanging open, he looked over to see her grinning widely, eyes sparkling, and clearly very pleased with his reaction.

"Do you like it?" she inquired happily, sliding closer on the step.

"It-It's amazing," he answered slowly, lowering the jacket carefully onto his knees again before meeting her eyes, a little sadly. "But how did you," he hesitated, reluctant to voice his objection and risk the hurt in her eyes. It smelled brand new. He sighed. "You can't...afford to buy things like this just for me."

She only giggled blithely in amusement. She always had money and he couldn't stop her spending it on him if she wanted to. "Do you want me to take it back?" she teased slyly. She almost laughed out loud at the hesitant and longing flicker of his eyes towards the jacket gripped securely on his knees. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against his cheek before sliding her thin arms around his shoulders. She buried her face into his neck, feeling the beat of his pulse and letting her own settle into the same rhythm alongside.

"Happy Birthday Oskar," she whispered.

She felt his arms that were wrapped securely around her waist, holding her close, tense sharply. He tightened the hug almost desperately, his breath shuddering in his lungs.

Oskar never wanted to let her go. He wanted time to stop marching on in its endless line, right here and now. If only time would just – _stop_! He would _make _it stop. He felt the resolve settle deep inside his chest; this would be the last birthday he would ever have.

Eventually he found his voice and they slowly pulled back from each other. "You shouldn't have done this," he spoke hoarsely, looking down at the sliver of wet wood between them.

"Why not?" Her tone had changed; the playfulness had faded to gentle concern.

He chewed his lip for a moment. Because he hated this day. He hated everything that was pulling him further and further away from her. Because he couldn't stop loving her and that love was on the verge of splitting him apart.

"Because…I'm getting older." He didn't raise his eyes and the words were barely a whisper as he spoke. "Because every day – I know I'm slipping further away from you."

All was still and silent until he felt the cool touch of her fingertips against the side of his face, quietly asking him to meet her gaze. Drawing strength from the steady pressure of her hand, he slowly tilted his head up to look into her face. The deep pools of her eyes were swimming in waves of sadness that threatened to drown him, but he forced himself not to break her gaze. Her ghostly beauty was luminous in the moonlight as she stroked her fingers through his tangled blond hair.

"That's how it's supposed to be."

The conflicted struggle in her eyes undermined the resigned determination in her voice. Oskar felt himself shaking his head and she moved in closer to touch her hand to his forehead.

"This…" She paused as she let her fingertips trail along his skin in demonstration. Stroking down his temple to brush the edge of his eyes, dancing over his cheeks and skimming his lips, touching his chin before tracing his jaw-line in a soft, reverent caress. Her eyes flickered up to his again, a weary wisdom in her sad smile. "This is natural."

Oskar closed his eyes tightly. "I don't care," he uttered fiercely.

He missed the pained joy that burst through her eyes, and it was controlled once more by the time he opened his again. Her expression was lost somewhere between a torn child and the shadows of several dark lifetimes. The sombre maturity that she embodied never failed to fascinate him. She was a being of stunning contrast; ruthlessly lethal but still breakable; ever curious about the world but so weary of it at the same time; brutal and angry and ever vulnerable; an innocent child who had lived through unimaginable darkness for a very long time. Despite his feelings about his birthday, Oskar realised he was still a child in many ways next to her. In cold years, she was an adult many times over and bore all the scars that came with it. Compared to her, he was still an infant in this life. She knew more than he could hope to, and much he would never wish to. One might never suspect through the disguise of her looks, but they could find it if they searched. Her eyes were timeless; full of the tired and worldly knowledge of one who had lived far beyond her years.

He brushed some dark, snowy hair behind her ear, his eyes still fixed intently on hers. "I don't want this. I don't care about birthdays or laws of nature, or growing up or sunlight. I care about you." Her expression was strange, as if it couldn't keep up with the emotions that scrambled underneath. Oskar leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, hand resting gently on her neck. He felt her breath against his cheek as her hand reached around his head to curl into his hair. The words were hot against the back of his throat, burning his tongue. "Eli…I want-"

But the sentence was never finished. The touch of her lips became the only thing he was aware of, as she cut him off with a soft kiss.

The kiss was gentle but desperate, charged with the growing ache that filled both their souls. Oskar wanted to bury all his fear beneath the soothing love that burned through their brief kiss; wanted so badly for her to understand and agree to let them stay together.

Slowly, Eli drew back and met his pained eyes. She wanted more than anything to make that pain go away, but she was really and truly lost as to how to do it without causing more. "Please," she whispered finally, "Please - not tonight."

Oskar let her quiet plea drape over his urgent need to convince her, like a cool blanket, putting it to rest; for tonight. He sighed, letting the residual argument leave his lungs, before looking back with a small smile. "Okay."

She smiled back in grateful relief, the playful light returning to her eyes. "Just say 'thank you' Oskar," she teased firmly.

He laughed, dipping his head to glance at the gifted jacket on his lap. He did really like it. His smile remained, but the playful humour was gone from his voice as he met her eye again. "Thank you." And he meant it more sincerely than she could imagine.

An owl swooped low over their heads then, making him jump but Eli merely followed it curiously with her eyes as it descended on its target before taking to the air again. Oskar looked over and saw the familiar eagerness spark in her eyes, which were still fixed away into the forest where the bird had disappeared. He smiled to himself. He knew that she had found an exhilarating sense of freedom in the wilderness up here; the miles and miles of isolation where she could be free to fly amongst the trees as fast as she pleased, the liberty of giving free reign to her strength and agility that she was forever curbing back.

"Go on," he encouraged, grinning as she turned round at his voice. "I'll be okay."

Eli's eyes darted to the black expanse that stretched out before her, calling her back into its heart for one last sprint before the sun rose. She turned back to him, only to hesitate at the tender trust in his eyes.

Oskar was special. She'd always known that. That's why she was drawn to him in the first place; why she longed for his company so strongly; why she suddenly felt good and…happy…when he was with her; why she tore those boys apart for daring to hurt him; why she had come back. And the intensity of her feelings hadn't diminished, but rather continued to grow to such levels that the thought of losing him made her stomach churn and her chest hurt so badly that she found herself wishing for the cleansing fires of sunlight to make it stop. She felt his absence like a hole in her side when he wasn't there, and more complete than she had ever felt in her whole wretched life, when she was in his arms. '_Love_' was a concept Eli had forgotten during the endless passage of days and nights, but had found again in the trust and friendship of one boy. Only to discover he had felt it too, so much so that he had followed and stayed with her ever since, whether she deserved it or not.

Oskar; he was the saving grace of her life, in every way. Could she be responsible for making him into a monster like her? Could she be that selfish? What were you supposed to do when you loved someone so much, you might have to let them go? And when he would finally ask, she was afraid she wouldn't have the strength of will to refuse. Love had become a massive complication in Eli's life, but she knew her life wouldn't be worth anything without it. Without Oskar.

With a surge of instinct, she closed the small distance between them and pressed her lips to his in a deep kiss. There was a moment of surprise, but she quickly felt him respond to the slow, gentle touch; his arm wrapping around her waist in a secure embrace as he returned the kiss with equal feeling.

His thumb drew across her cheek and she slid her hand around his neck, as they savoured the beautiful intimacy of the contact. An expression more honest than words; there were no lies or walls of defence in a kiss. Oskar felt a dizzy warmth spread to the tips of his fingers and ends of his toes in the electrifying sensation of her soft lips and smooth skin against his. Her fingers wound into his hair and he responded by pulling them closer together. Then, after what felt like one of the most intense moments of his life, she gently pulled away to rest her face inches from his.

She smiled at him shyly, her face glowing in the night air. Placing a chaste kiss on his cheek, she slowly disentangled herself and stood up.

"I'll be back before sunrise," she assured needlessly. He nodded and smiled warmly, despite already feeling the cold more acutely from her absence next to him. She skipped down the steps and turned back around at the bottom, a mischievous smile on her lips. "Check the pockets," she advised mysteriously, before turning to run away towards the tree line.

Oskar watched her lithe figure scramble smoothly up the massive trunk of a great tree and disappear into the darkness. It was always slightly daunting to see her in her natural element, her grace and skill stunning to observe. That was her nature. She was just a different kind of predator, surely no more culpable than the starving wolf or hunting bear. They all had to survive after all.

As his eyes dwelled on the blackness of the forest, he felt the lingering heat of her long kiss glowing like embers through his body and warming him against the frosty night. Yet there was something in the depth and urgency of it, that had echoed with the desire he struggled with inside.

Shaking his head and remembering her words, Oskar dutifully pulled at the folded jacket in his lap in an attempt to locate the pockets. His fingers touched something small and smooth and he withdrew his hand to see the hidden gift. In his palm rested a small wooden tag, edges and corners rubbed smooth, the uneven quality confirming the unprofessional craftsmanship. A length of leather cord had been threaded through the squinty hole at the top, so the tag could hang. But Oskar's eyes were caught on the small, wobbly, printed letters that had been carefully scratched into the surface. A smile spread across his lips, his heart tugging in his chest, as he read the words over and over again.

_Yours_

_Love Eli_

His hand tightened around the tiny piece of plain wood and the simple words it held, that was more precious to him than any other possession he had ever been given. He ran his thumb over the rough carving, along each letter and word as if he feared they would disappear from him. Definitely his favourite birthday present ever.

Slipping the thin cord around his neck, he turned the tag towards his chest so the message was facing him, and then tucked it safely under his layers until it lay against his bare skin, close to his heart. And that was where it would stay; he was never going to lose it.

And he wasn't going to lose her. Oskar's smile was quietly peaceful; the conviction of his heart buoyed by the gentle weight of her love that lay over it. Now and forever.

He'd made his choice.

**~o~**

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